The 2014 World Cup: Americans and Soccer

It goes without saying that soccer is not an American sport.  Despite all of the hype about the attendance in youth soccer leagues spiking, this nation as a whole still lacks the love for soccer.

I am just as guilty of this.  I am a World Cup bandwagon fan at best.  I don’t follow soccer year round and I was just online looking at the U.S. team’s roster since I don’t know much about the players. 

However, the love of soccer around here reached a critical mass at the Thirsty Lion Pub and Grill at Tempe Marketplace for the U.S.-Portugal game.  I joined a few friends at a table where I had to stand most of the time because the place was packed to the gills.  I have been following most of the games on ABC and Univision (I don’t have ESPN/cable) but I knew I had to be out somewhere where I could hear the play by play while cheering for Team USA. 

Let me just say that I am so happy that I made the decision to watch it at a bar.  The energy at Thirsty Lion was palpable.  The chanting: USA-USA-USA and the cheering when we scored was louder than a lot of crowds at other professional sporting events.  I watched a woman at the table next to us hold up her baby over her head when we scored.

People were decked out in red-white-and-blue attire, Uncle Sam hats, and American flag bandannas and cowboy boots.  I even saw a young man wearing a Mia Hamm jersey.  Hamm was an award-winning, professional soccer player who was on two U.S. Olympic gold medal-winning teams more than a decade ago.  No one at my table even knew about her. And I was talking to two female New York natives. Sigh.

Needless to say, we were all highly disappointed with the 2-2 draw.  Some of the men in the crowd were visibly depressed and upset.  We’ll see what happens on Thursday.  Go USA!

Dealbreaker: I Did the Right Thing

It recently dawned on me that I made the right decision when I broke up with my ex-boyfriend. 

I'm embarrassed to say that it's taken a ridiculous amount of time to recover or at least process the whole matter.  I was really, really upset about it for several months.  The first three months I felt like a total zombie while navigating my new job/career.  I did not talk to him thinking it would speed up the process.  Well, that did not happen because I spent the remaining five months pissed because I was always contacting him whenever we did talk.  Then, other things would come up at work so I would forget everything for a period of time and then they would re-surface each time things calmed down.  

Meanwhile, I went on other dates just to keep myself pre-occupied.  I didn't really go on these dates with the intention of getting into another relationship, which worked out since most of the guys I went out with were just down right hilarious (how ridiculous their stories were).  

A lot of people who I talked to since the break up used the word "dealbreaker" to describe why I broke up with him.  It's true--sexist, macho behavior is a dealbreaker for me.  I don't like sexist jokes.  I understand jokes are jokes.  I understand the locker room environment, blah, blah, blah.   However, I'm not putting up with that at my house.  This is why dating is tough.  Your significant other making sexist jokes is not the same thing as your friend making sexist jokes.  It doesn't make it okay but at the end of the day, you're not going home with that person.  

I grew up with a Tiger Dad who regularly made inappropriate comments, mostly racial but sometimes sexist comments.  So that's a dealbreaker for me.  Sometimes people wonder why I am so hard on other people when they say certain things or why I'm sarcastic or why I say the things I do, it's pretty much something I've developed over a long time.  

Frankly speaking, why would I have a kid with someone who joked about "beating, shoving and pushing" me?  Would I really want to tell a kid that "Gee, your dad told me when we were dating that it would be funny to joke about hitting me and I was cool with the joke...?"  I mean, what?? Unfortunately, as a woman, in particular, you decide how people are going to treat you.  My ex-boyfriend and I already had several discussions about my view on women and his view on women.  Apparently, none of it was productive and in recent months I started to blame myself for not walking away sooner--as in the beginning. 

I almost did but then I gave it another chance. Sigh. I liked everything else about him so I went with it.  Regardless, if you don't experience these things, you'll never know what you want or don't want.  

Don't Mess with My Reproductive Rights

The discussion over abortion and birth control of late has been rather disturbing to me.

Abortion should always be an option regardless if one chooses to abort or not. I don't know what some of these right-wing wackos (e.g Rick Santorum) are thinking but it's not the 1950s anymore. A lot of people don't get married these days if they get pregnant or don't want to take on the responsibility of a raising of a child. And let me rephrase this, even if they want to take on the responsibility, they probably aren't fit to parent at this point in their lives. Personally, I am 32 years old and I can tell you that I am not fit to parent for a variety of reasons. Yes, I am sure I am capable of having a kid. However, should I do it? Just because it's the tradition of the human race to reproduce doesn't mean I have to uphold that tradition.

Furthermore, Kimberly Yee, the only Asian American woman to ever be elected to the Arizona Legislature, is a disgrace. She is the sponsor of a bill that would ban most abortions after 20 weeks, according to this article: http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/news/articles/2012/03/09/20120309arizona-abortion-bill-stirs-debate-fetal-pain.html

A fetus can feel pain after 20 weeks? What? Does that mean we have to bring that fetus into this world? Believe me, I am aware of the fact that a woman will suffer psychologically and physically after an abortion. It's not a decision that should be made lightly. However, does that mean we should eliminate most abortions?

As for birth control and the notion of these religious organizations not including contraceptives as part of their health insurance coverage is just ludicrous. A lot of young people would have had five kids by now if birth control did not exist. I'm sorry to break the news to everyone, but it's pretty common for young people to have sex before they're married, including some of those who are religious. And even for the purposes of family planning, birth control should certainly be an option. Do you really want to devote your hard-earned tax dollars to single mothers on welfare?

More later.

The Past Six Months

It's been a loooonng six months. Lots of changes. A new job/career that's taken up a lot of time. The stereotype of teachers being these frumpy old ladies who say things like "children, settle down now" must be erased. It's so much more than what people think it is.

Working at a school has also got me thinking about the fact that I'm just not dying to have kids any time soon. They're cute and are much more honest than adults but having my own is still not high priority. As for teenagers, some of them are a total nightmare. Key word: SOME. Others are great. Some are just trying to figure out the world in front of them and it's interesting watching them figure it all out.

Epiphany

I just realized today that I don't want to settle down any time soon. I'm turning 32 next month and it's got me thinking about what in the world I'm doing with my life.

Honestly, I don't think it'll be for a long time or ever. I have no desire to marry a nice Asian American engineer/doctor/businessman and raise Asian American kids who speak perfect English. Nor do I have any desire to marry a geeky white guy and have perfect looking half Asian American children. I do not care to join another family regardless of their ethnic background.

I am not interested in being a Tiger parent. The only way I know how to raise kids is by verbally abusing them. I'll spare the therapy bills and emotional scars. I have no desire to stand in a kitchen and serve food night after night. I'm not going to become superwoman and balance a career and kids. I can't multitask very well so I'm just not going to do it.

I like my freedom too much to give it up. Sorry, society, this is what I've decided.

Why Jeremy Lin is Such a Big Deal

Seeing Jeremy Lin’s storybook rise to fame is almost as exciting as seeing Obama become the president of the United States.

For those of you who don’t understand the importance of Jeremy Lin’s rise to fame is such a big deal to some of us, let me explain here.

For the first time in my life, I see someone who is just like me in mainstream America. His parents are from Taiwan just like mine. He was born and raised in the United States just like me. And his face is plastered all over televisions across America, my home country. Believe me, Asian Americans like me rarely see people like ourselves doing anything in the media beyond the usual stereotypes.

What struck me about Jeremy Lin is not only that he’s like me but his story hits home. My cousin, a former college baseball player who was born and raised in Dallas, Texas also encountered racism when a coach refused to play him because of his race. My uncle who is Taiwanese like Lin’s dad coached him through out my cousin’s youth traveling all over Texas playing Little League and skipping out on Chinese school.

Not only are people seeing Lin in mainstream America, but he is a star in the NBA. Is he overrated, does he lack experience, has he not done enough, well, guess what? The fact there’s any attention on an Asian American in the limelight is so amazing to me that I’m almost breathless. For once, an Asian American is being recognized for doing something that most of America is actually impressed by. Frankly speaking, like it or not, success in the eyes of the American public means making it in politics and pop culture because those are the only ways to influence the masses in this country.

Oh, if he was black then no one would care. No, people would not care as much. But let’s face it, the concept of an Asian American boy who can jump is so incredibly strange to America that everyone is awe. Of course, Asian American athletes are not a brand new idea. The first person of color in the NBA was Japanese American. But most of America is clueless, they only see what they are presented.

What I love about Lin is that he’s an articulate Asian American who obviously took a huge risk and he’s living his dream. And he actually said out loud that he embraces the fact that he is Asian American is music to my ears. Who else has done that?

Growing up in Arizona, I did not have any Asian American role models. I did not have any Asian American teachers who grew up like me. I was always caught somewhere between the white world, other minorities and mainstream America. I was fortunate to have some Chinese teachers at my weekend Chinese school who could at least teach me the basics of my heritage language. However, they were not like me. Believe me, it doesn’t matter how Chinese I become at this point, I will never be the real deal. I lived in China for a year and my Chinese is significantly better than it once was but I know I will never be the real deal.

Thus, it’s important for me to see people like to me to succeed in America. This is where I will be for the rest of my life. Folks like me will never truly be accepted in Asia but we should be accepted in the United States because we are FROM here. Unfortunately, until we have numerous Asian American NBA stars, rock stars, politicians, etc., then we will not be seen as regular Americans. It’s just the ugly truth.

And for those of you who have mocked our Facebook posts or hate the fact there’s another comment about Linsanity, people have no idea what it’s like to be Asian American. The forgotten minority. The industrious but mute minority. We are a mix of Asian blood and Americanness who are proud of our heritage yet are part of the American fabric just like anyone else. And for those Asian Americans who do not care, could you for once be proud in solidarity?

Regardless, seeing Jeremy Lin driving the ball across the court, watching him being interviewed on television and just seeing all of the discussions that have occurred publicly about his race is something I will never forget in this life time.

Make It Go Away

Despite the fact that I have no desire to settle down or be in another relationship, I still have moments where I really, really, really miss my ex-boyfriend.

I am the dumper. The bad guy. The one who caused it all. I wish I could report that I ran off with another guy or now I'm madly in love another guy who I met after the break up or that my life is so much better without him. In some ways, my life is still good and better than it was last year. In some ways, it kind of sucks. I may never see him again because he moved back to California and we may never be friends. In the long run, I think I made the right decision. I'm not ready to settle down, I am unsure if I want to have kids, etc. Just lots of uncertainties in general. It just really hurts in the short run.

I'm coming up on 32 and birthdays now seem to be a re-evaluation of life in general. I know that I still have a ways to go with my career and I'm doing everything I can to get there. Therefore, I've decided that I don't really want to spend too much time with a guy. I know what it's like to have a boyfriend. I mean by this point I've had all types of boyfriends to know what that's like. I know I still have it in me to have another relationship. For awhile, I wasn't even sure if I could sustain another relationship. I know I still have it in me to meet other guys. I just can't right now, which makes me feel like I'm stuck and I can't move on from the whole thing. Plus, I don't want to have too much drama before the end of the school year, which is June 1. So from now until June 1, I will devote my time to myself. I still plan on going back on my various dates -- I still have 42 to go. But not right now.