Dating is just plain funny. Some of it is just hysterical. Since I've had my break up for the year, I've decided to start an experiment. Go out with 50 guys. There's no timeline, no time frame, no, I don't care if I have a kid at the moment or in the near future or at all, no, I don't care if I spend my free time with myself or friends, I just don't give a shit. The pressure is off.
If you're not interested, I won't waste my time. I'm old and I don't like dealing with stupid shit. I used to get disappointed when a guy didn't call me. Now I just don't care.
My job keeps me totally busy, I interact with young people enough that it serves as a good form of birth control, I have enough guys telling me their life stories that it makes me think, "thank gawd," I don't have to deal with you. Teaching is just as intense as any job--yes, I get evaluated several times, I have bills to pay, I'm always looking for new opportunities to advance myself, I have multiple bosses, I'm not going to go through a million break ups over the course of a year at a new job. I'm lucky enough to have a paycheck.
When I have bad days, I don't have a boyfriend to call, I don't talk to anyone at lunch/during the work day, no one comes by to bring me anything, I've not had a regular date for major events in years. It's life. I'm used to it. Do I like it? At this point, it's normalcy for me. On the flip side, I do what I please and I've swung so far on the independence scale that it's hard to come back.
Here are some general trends I've noticed when going out with guys:
At this age, in your 30s, apparently, a good chunk of guys have lived with someone, been married, divorced, engaged or had a kid at some point. If not, you've either been in a PhD program or you totally don't have your shit together. I'm generalizing here but that's what I've noticed.
Some guys will tell you upfront they want to have kids, they have some sort of five-year plan that involves a family, or that they're tired of partying and want to be in a relationship. I don't know if they say these things because they think it's what I want to hear but I just never know what to make of it.
It seems to me more of them want to have kids than not. I guess I was under the impression that it was the ladies who wanted kids not guys. Who knows these days?
Other guys want to know if I get angry, um, YES. Believe me, I am entirely capable of ripping people to shreds and I'm not going to hold back. So, yeah, that's who I am. It's not a secret.
Male friends will make comments such as "The pool is getting smaller" or "I still want to find someone/I want someone to share everything with" or some admit that are in fact "picky" (given the divorce rate, yes, you should be, you should try your hardest to figure out what you're getting into as unromantic as it sounds). Obviously, I hope these guys get what they want. But at the same time, most of the people who are still single at this point seem to be people who have a lot going on or at least can hold their own so I'm sure they're going to be fine either way.
