I am the dumper. The bad guy. The one who caused it all. I wish I could report that I ran off with another guy or now I'm madly in love another guy who I met after the break up or that my life is so much better without him. In some ways, my life is still good and better than it was last year. In some ways, it kind of sucks. I may never see him again because he moved back to California and we may never be friends. In the long run, I think I made the right decision. I'm not ready to settle down, I am unsure if I want to have kids, etc. Just lots of uncertainties in general. It just really hurts in the short run.
I'm coming up on 32 and birthdays now seem to be a re-evaluation of life in general. I know that I still have a ways to go with my career and I'm doing everything I can to get there. Therefore, I've decided that I don't really want to spend too much time with a guy. I know what it's like to have a boyfriend. I mean by this point I've had all types of boyfriends to know what that's like. I know I still have it in me to have another relationship. For awhile, I wasn't even sure if I could sustain another relationship. I know I still have it in me to meet other guys. I just can't right now, which makes me feel like I'm stuck and I can't move on from the whole thing. Plus, I don't want to have too much drama before the end of the school year, which is June 1. So from now until June 1, I will devote my time to myself. I still plan on going back on my various dates -- I still have 42 to go. But not right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment